As the end of 2014 is approaching, I realize that there are
so many issues that still exist in this world that I have been oblivious to
believing. It’s so arduous for me to comprehend why and how intra-racism lives amongst
black people. In a time where we have accomplished so many great things, there
is still this self hatred that lives within some of us. There are still black
people who believe that their worth is dictated by the color of their skin, and
the length or texture of their hair.
I suppose that if you have believed something your entire
life, it is difficult to let go of those thoughts that have somehow become part
of your identity. However, when you
begin to analyze, dissect and critically think about the validity of those thoughts,
it becomes apparent that there is no validity, there is no truth or merit to
these thoughts.
I recently engaged in a conversation with a friend (a dark
skinned female) who has been challenged to find her beauty within for as long
as we have known each other. While I believed that this was something she
struggled with growing up, it was confirmed via this conversation. Interestingly
enough, she claimed to love herself and beautiful skin, yet when the opportunity
presented itself, she would degrade others lighter than her via the usage of humor or sometimes overt, hurtful comments. A few months ago, I met with a
client who claimed that she wished she could change the color of her skin
because the kids at school call her “white girl”. She proclaimed that she couldn’t
stand being called white and that due to this experience, she hates white
people.
As someone who has a light skinned grandmother and mother
and a dark skinned grandfather and father, I have never given any energy to
believe in the disparity that allegedly exists between the two groups. I was
loved by all of these people and was taught that they were all equally
beautiful, equally intelligent and possessed equal value. My grandparents were
born 100 years when life was very different than it is now. And, if they could
believe and teach that love amongst black people was paramount during a time
when the world told us different, then we can and should be able to extend that
same message today. If we don’t begin to love each other from the inside out,
our problems and challenges are going to become insurmountable. It begins with
us, showing love, teaching self worth and self esteem, addressing our wounds at
the very core so that we can help our brothers and sisters do the same. Respect and Love, MM
