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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Intra-Racism- It's Time to End It



As the end of 2014 is approaching, I realize that there are so many issues that still exist in this world that I have been oblivious to believing. It’s so arduous for me to comprehend why and how intra-racism lives amongst black people. In a time where we have accomplished so many great things, there is still this self hatred that lives within some of us. There are still black people who believe that their worth is dictated by the color of their skin, and the length or texture of their hair.
I suppose that if you have believed something your entire life, it is difficult to let go of those thoughts that have somehow become part of your identity.  However, when you begin to analyze, dissect and critically think about the validity of those thoughts, it becomes apparent that there is no validity, there is no truth or merit to these thoughts.
I recently engaged in a conversation with a friend (a dark skinned female) who has been challenged to find her beauty within for as long as we have known each other. While I believed that this was something she struggled with growing up, it was confirmed via this conversation. Interestingly enough, she claimed to love herself and beautiful skin, yet when the opportunity presented itself, she would degrade others lighter than her via the usage of humor or sometimes overt, hurtful comments. A few months ago, I met with a client who claimed that she wished she could change the color of her skin because the kids at school call her “white girl”. She proclaimed that she couldn’t stand being called white and that due to this experience, she hates white people.
As someone who has a light skinned grandmother and mother and a dark skinned grandfather and father, I have never given any energy to believe in the disparity that allegedly exists between the two groups. I was loved by all of these people and was taught that they were all equally beautiful, equally intelligent and possessed equal value. My grandparents were born 100 years when life was very different than it is now. And, if they could believe and teach that love amongst black people was paramount during a time when the world told us different, then we can and should be able to extend that same message today. If we don’t begin to love each other from the inside out, our problems and challenges are going to become insurmountable. It begins with us, showing love, teaching self worth and self esteem, addressing our wounds at the very core so that we can help our brothers and sisters do the same.  Respect and Love, MM